Dear Noah-
Once upon a time there was a young woman who dreamt of a family.
This family included a loving husband and a gaggle of children.
Those children wore frilly dresses and pink ribbons.
She imagined a life of braided hair, fashion tips and boyfriend advice.
It never occurred to this young woman that her future would include blue layettes and hockey sticks.
Imagine her shock when she went in for her sonogram and discovered a little something she didn’t expect.
She was a taken aback.
This was not the plan.
Her life was a “No Boys Allowed” zone.
But you came anyway.
In a perfect world she would have taken one look at you and known that it was meant to be.
But that wasn’t the case.
She knew you were coming.
She bought the clothes and the bedding to prepare for you but still she wasn’t ready.
What was she supposed to do with this foreign creature?
It didn’t take long, however, for that young woman to realize that you were exactly what she needed.
You were quite possibly the easiest baby in the world so when you cried you broke her heart:
As you grew she came to realize what a happy, content & pure soul you had:
And then you went to Kindergarten and you both grieved:
As much as she prayed it wouldn’t happen, you grew:
….and grew…..
….and grew….
…..until suddenly you became a young man:
…and in the blink of an eye the young woman wasn’t as young as she thought.
She was once again put in a position where she wasn’t sure how to deal with this alien creature who was thrust into her world.
But she had enough experience under her belt to know that this, too, was a phase and that the two of you would get through it together.
She knew that although you might pull away from her for now you would always remember the days when she gently tucked you under her wing and tried to show you that even when the world seemed hurtful and unfair you would always have a soft place to land.
She knew that even when you didn’t want to admit it, nothing could replace your mother.
She knew enough to take a step back and allow you to dive head first into the deep end of puberty & watch you flail your arms and gasp for breath, knowing that you would eventually resurface and find yourself.
And maybe, just maybe, you would wipe the water from your eyes and see her standing on the sidelines, cheering you on, waiting patiently for you to return.
And you would smile.
She knew that eventually you would realize that she loved you more than anyone would ever love you.
She knew that at some point you would have enough clarity to see that although she wasn’t perfect as a mother her love for you was infinite.
And in that she found peace.
Love,
Mom